Updates

1) My child is 8 months old tomorrow. He is now crawling with his belly off the ground, finally sitting totally unassisted, loving baths, clapping, insatiably pulling himself up on everything in sight, cruising along the edges of tables, saying "hi!" enthusiastically, getting better at feeding himself, eating cheerios and drinking from a sippy cup (sort of, he mostly just tosses it around). I remember when he was just a tiny thing and I would look at him and think about him being 8 months, 9 months...even 6 months and not being able to fathom it. That sounded so old, so big. And all of a sudden he's like this real kid. Bizarro.

2) I am still without vehicle but the part is coming. YAY.

3) Our tax refunds have come and are gone. Didn't take long between bills, back-rent, new diapers & clothes, and food. Sheesh. I wonder if we'll ever get anything saved.

4) Joel might be getting a new job. Shhh.

5) I can feel spring coming. I can feel it. I am so looking forward to little things this spring/summer. Hanging diapers on a clothesline in the hot sun, Isaac learning to walk and stumbling in the grass, days on the beach, having windows and doors open with cool breezes blowing through, planting flowers and teaching him about bugs. Possibly getting back to work part-time. The excitement/anticipation is welling up within.

6) I am finishing season 3 of Six Feet Under which I've borrowed from my brother. I'm serious man, it is so fucking eerie, the similarities between the Fishers and my family. Each character is like a dramatic interpretation of a person in my life. The stories are the same, the mannerisms, the personalities. It's really messed up and intriguing and definitely the best show ever made. I am absorbed and obsessed and probably too into it. But loving it.

7) Today I got the second message from a random perverted stranger on Facebook asking to see pictures of me nursing. Actually this one proclaimed his desire to "feed from my breast" and I puked in my mouth a little. Way to get your ass reported, idiot. Ugh. Bleck. Vomit. Shudder. Major creepster.

I believe that is all.

its all my fault

My child is a TV junkie.


Sometimes I feel bad about it, like I am letting his brain slowly melt out of his ears or something. But you know - of all of the things that you tend to remember fondly from your childhood, your favorite characters on your favorite shows always come first. They do for me at least. When he gets a bit older I am totally buying Fraggle Rock & the Muppet Show DVD sets because that shit is quality, and the generations that grew up on them (mainly from the 80's, early 90's) are probably the most peaceful set of people there are. Jim Henson's original goal with Sesame Street & Fraggle Rock was to create world peace, starting with the youngin's. How can that be bad? Of course he loves Elmo and Barney (ugh) but with time he will become a sophisticated pop-culture goon, learning lessons and dancing to dope ass theme songs.

This might just be my really good excuse to enjoy these shows myself without having to feel stupid. I really don't care.

Vermont's finest.

I have been a bad blogger. Every so often I get plagued with enormous apathy and everything becomes mundane, useless, petty. I usually manage to climb out of that after a while, either by force or desperation. This is a little of both.

I have left the house only twice in the last two weeks. Joel is off on a snow mobiling adventure with his brother, and he left his car here. So I could have left today. That option hasn't been available to me in the many weeks since my car shat the bed. But as I weighed out that possibility, the task suddenly became too daunting. I am now officially a recluse. My car should be in tip top shape fairly soon, once our refund is in hand and Joel actually takes the time to get to it. But even then - where would I go?

I might go crawling back to my former place of employment soon. For a few nights a week or something. Although this is a terrible time of year for the restaurant business to be hiring anyone. I doubt they'd even take me back right now. I need to figure out what the hell it is I'd like to do with myself someday. Or do I?! I am so beyond sick of torturing myself with that question.

All I know is that I want to buy a house. We started looking into it, researching the area and whatnot. Working on a plan. It's ultimately my one big goal in life, to own a house that we will treasure as a big family with lots of memories. I don't really care how lame that might sound to most everyone else but the desire for it is a passion, and that feeling doesn't happen easily for me so I'm holding onto it.

I am polishing off Joel's Cherry Garcia. The fool left it behind. Muahaha.