Sometimes, good things happen.

I'd like to thank the universe for Joel having such a good job.

His company was unable to give out raises this year, for obvious reasons. They had to make a lot of cuts in general in order to survive, but they made these decisions just in time and we able to salvage themselves. They opted to not have a christmas party this year, deeming it more important that they give to their employees a check for the amount of money they would have received, had they gotten pay raises this year. So on top of his weekly check yesterday, he got enough money for us to take care of these bills that have been looming overhead, stressing me out so much I was devising a plan to go back to work. Plus there is still a Christmas bonus coming. Tis the season to be thankful, it is such a relief right now.

I've totally been feeling the pressure to get back to work. It's such a tricky situation for me.
a) there's no way I want to go back to where I was working before. Even if I did like restaurant work, that's just not the place for me.
b) I have no other job skills. I've done office work before just fine but that's the last thing I want to get stuck doing.
c) Isaac is still totally dependent on me. The kid refuses bottles to the point where it's not worth the stress, and is very much attached to my boob. We're taking solids very slowly and he's nowhere near the point of relying on them.
d) With our plans to start trying for another baby in about a year, would it make sense to get involved with a job that I'll just have to leave again shortly after?

Everyone I talk to says to stay home as long as possible, enjoy the time with the baby. I totally agree with that. Honestly, scoff if you will, but being a stay at home mom is pretty fulfilling to me. I want to start getting involved with playgroups and other moms and find some kind of niche among the lifestyle. If I had any crafty skills, like sewing or something, I could make stuff and sell it. But that is one talent I did not inherit from my mom. Joel always says he'd rather have me go take some classes and figure out what I really want to do, than to get involved in some crap job just because I feel like I have to. I'm lucky to have such an understanding and supportive hubby. We can't afford for me to not be working. Yet somehow we're sort of keeping our heads above the water. We'll have to see what the approaching, swirling black hole called Winter on Cape Cod brings us this year.